i’ve led a constrained life for too long
taking advice from the parts of me that love me but can’t see beyond their own limitations
limiting me in turn
in the center of me, i am only now learning to love the rivers and the trees and the grass
more than just for appearance’s sake
it humbles me, then confuses me, and begins to knit me whole
i forgive myself over and over
but not letting that be all there is
feeling out a new possibility, stepping gingerly
letting you, the mystery, take me along a path I don’t understand and can’t help but be pulled towards
i hope that i will be able to let it all go
the stuff which binds me like barbed wire
freezing me, as it has frozen our ancestors
i try to unthaw.
i search, desiring to find you, mystery.
knowing nothing at all.